Happy Saturday, Little Leaves!
I had another rough week, but I've found that going on a cleaning rampage seemed to help.
I woke up one morning, sat outside and read a book for about 30 minutes, then decided I'm tired of living in such a messy room.
I deep cleaned the bathroom, the bedroom, the hallway outside of the bedroom. I think I'll rearrange some things as well since I have a PC coming.
Speaking of which, I will start streaming on Twitch! As soon as I know my schedule, I'll post it on my socials, so don't forget to click the links at the bottom of the Home Screen to stay updated!
Alright, let's get into it.
There are some experiences that don't feel real while they're happening, and somehow they feel even less real when they're over.
We didn't get a warning. It happened way too quickly.
First, a lightning strike hit right next to us in the car, which then shut off for a second, but came back on.
Then the hail came. This was happening in less than a minute as we were getting the kiddo off the bus. Thank goodness we got her in time.
We just needed to get out of that area, so my fiance started driving to a different part of the neighborhood. We just pulled over and tried to wait it out, only it got way worse.
The wind picked up, debris started flying everywhere, so he started driving away again. Only that time, we couldn't see the road in front of us, the sky was turning green, water was rising, and hail and very hard rain were hitting the car, we couldn't hear ourselves.
When we stopped again, I just sat there and prayed. Maybe cried a little bit, because I was terrified. Part of me kept thinking, "this is actually happening, are we gonna die?"
It finally passed and I realized... we just dodged a tornado. Surviving a scary thing is only the beginning.
Your body will understand you're safe before your mind does. Or it can be the other way around. Sometimes, both are never ready to let go of what happened.
Now, a loud sound can suddenly make me tense.
A change in weather can make my heart race.
I'm finding that I'm listening more closely, watching the sky, and I barely slept last night. I'm still completely baffled that we didn't get a warning.
These kind of experiences can change your definition of "safe".
Before yesterday, a storm was simply just a storm. Wind was background noise for me. Now they carry a whole new meaning.
Maybe in a few days, I'll be able to hear thunder and not think twice about it. Maybe I'll laugh about how scared I was. I'll still feel my stomach drop when the wind picks up.
Trauma isn't always obvious. Sometimes it's a traumatic event that changes things. Other times, it's something that quietly rewires the way you move through the world.
Sometimes, you don't realize how much something affected you until afterward.
Yesterday, I survived a tornado.
Being shaken after something terrifying doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're human.
Thank you, Little Leaves. See y'all next Saturday!
- Autumn
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